People often have enough problems without you adding unto it. We are always looking for ways to manage our issues and gladly welcome help from anyone willing. Seeking support is very challenging nowadays. People will get fed up or even hate you for often seeking their help. Also, they can only assist us with things they can afford to. The nature of our problem can be financial, emotional, physical, or intellectual. It is often next to impossible for people to help us if we are not willing to help ourselves. We all want to improve ourselves but may not know how to or be confused about where to start. We will bust a few common self-help tips, and explain why they may not work for many people.
‘I Will Succeed By Listening To Successful People‘
Most people want to become successful by listening to successful people and trying to act as those people did. We often believe that if someone attained success by doing a particular thing, we would also succeed by doing the same. This mindset is particularly dangerous because we may end up wasting a lot of time and resources on something that won’t work for us. The fact someone attains success does not guarantee that the same will work for you. It is because we are all individual personalities living in different circumstances. So, these success rules can be as dangerous as they are helpful.
It does not mean that those success principles and tips cannot help you at all. It only means you need to be careful about how you take such advice. Relying entirely on them can be a recipe for disaster. It leads to what psychologists call survivorship bias. Some people fail for the same reason that others succeed. Successful people focus more on their stories and how they worked things out. They rarely mention the negative aspects of these factors.
Relying On Self-Help Books
We always find these ideas propagated in a self-help book, blogs, manuals, etc. But the fact is, there is no universal formula for success. If there were, everyone would have succeeded. Often the numerous self-help principles eliminate the element of luck or the background factors that may influence those same success principles. Some obeyed these principles but still failed while others never even read a single tip but made it.
For example, consider the case of Arnold Schwarzenegger. After being the best body-builder in the world, he became the highest-paid Hollywood actor, and later on the governor of California. Arnold gave a speech on The Tim Ferris Podcast about what he described as the six rules for success. He outlined the following points; to trust yourself, break the rules, do not be afraid of failure, work hard, give back, and ignore the naysayers. These principles worked for him, but many have failed because they ignored naysayers or broke the rules.
By relying so much on self-help books, you are creating a psychological effect that you need help. It is also a blatant admission that we are not confident in our ability to make it by our plans. Self-help books should be considered practical training manuals for living, just like manuals for the acquisition of skill. But the best action is to learn how to develop your mental capability and discover your talent or passion. Also, while you work at it, continuously learn about the factors of success for your trade and what influences them.